Uni.... How I ....

At this moment, I'm far too tired to think rationally, and such,

Everything you see may be rubbish, but you're gonna hear it anyway!

Now, I know uni's a busy place, and as proven, I'm never stationary (no, i'm not a pencil either) for more than an hour!

I love it. I just need a good sleep once in a while!

On another note, I'm halfway to 50 in a little under 2 weeks. That also means that all my uni work for the first semester will be handed in the day before. This is partly why I've been AWOL or MIA, or to other people, just not been updating my pages !

Far, Too busy.

Anyway, Just wanted to keep you informed that I am still around and thinking of my readers!

Ciao x

Unexplained.

Anger.

Why, all of a sudden does it take one comment, to send me into a spiral of hateful anger for no particular reason?

If I knew that, then maybe i wouldn't be getting angry in the first place. I guess it might be equating it to when a PC needs to be defragged. It's the only analogy I can think could be comparable. Still these things are meant to try us and that. [aside from this bit, I am going to break a grammatical law] But why does it keep happening?

Anyone notice what it was? Good, because I haven't done it yet, but I will. First to spot it wins bugger all. Just well done for being grammatically intelligent!. (And no, it will NOT be the classic butchering of their,there and they're.)

So, anyhow. Any thoughts about why it happens? No, well shit.

How have you been anyway ? I don't even know where this rant/ blog is taking me, let's just roll with it and see where we end up [the end] shall we? Maybe the problem with me is, I actually give a shit. Who knows?

Because let's face it, giving a shit is how many people usually get hurt. Right? Yes, right, either females who stupidly fall for their boyfriends, while their boyfriend is out sewing parts with another female, or good natured people whom other people take advantage of.

Seeing as I am neither of these, why is it that I feel let down all the time by people pretending to be a friend? Of course, when I write "I", I do mean a friend of me, because who would turn their back on someone this awesome right? If they did, they lose out. You hear me out there, let down-ners. YOU (not me) lose out. The next time you see fit to Hell I don't know, NO show my birthday, Yeah, just to use an example, I'll do the complete opposite with my foot and your ass.

Anyway, I have no time to dilly dally or dick around, as I have important things to tend to. On this note I bid you all adieu.

Before I go, you all are probably thinking, there is no point to me writing this, and you'd be wrong, like so many people. If i had no reason to write, I wouldn't. (If i wasn't already in a foul mood, this blog probably wouldn't be here, so thank a douchebag (Copyright Anne Roberts) for pissing me off in the first place.

Goodnight.

My new idea!

I've had enough of celebrities being forced down our throats. Celebrity this, celebrity that. Who gives a fuck if you're a celebrity?

I want to give something back to joe public, and i also noticed the lack of stories by real people. like me, or you reading this.

I want to write an autobiography. Ya know, be inspirational and stuff.

Where did I come from ? Why do i want to do this project?

I just feel that, real stories by real people are more inspiring than a celebrity.

Don't get me wrong, i like reading where they came from and how they got to where they are, but why can;t real people do that ?

Shhhhhh

anymore noise, you might miss this important update!

Ok, so it's been a while since I've done anything really, and there's been a reason for that.... I've had no desire,interest, or reasons to give an update, so what ?

Now, I realise the rest of your lives are so empty, you've been clawing at the internet, and your monitor just in the vague hope, underneath a layer of not being there, this blog post would magically appear.

Well, good for you, your persitence has paid off!

But, why were you persisting, when, surely it would have been better off doing something to entertain yourselves ?

I kid of course, I value all my readers / watchers of my vloag. Which reminds me, ive had nothing to do with that either, due to nothing being interesting enough.

However.

Recently i received the disappointing news that the F1 , will now, (most likely) predominantly shown on SKY, which for those of you that don't know, is that evil media conglomerate owned by Rupert Murdoch.

Luckily, F1 will still be somewhat shown on BBC (Free to air) television. Still, all things must come to an end, and I guess the end is now. For those of you interested, there is a petition online, in which to block this move, which I guess is our only hope. I realise, to show the pinacle of sport will cost money, but if this is a "money saving" method, I can think of ten other ways in which to do this.

I will not mention them now, due to having just completed a work placement, in the media, I might still be responsible, and might be sued.

I will say, that anything written in this blog, are the views of me, and me only. Any professional company, need not have restriction or responsibilities.

Well, I guess this will be all for now, but until next time, Enjoy the sun, and if anybody moans about it, I will place you on the embalming list.

(borrowed from Luke Clarke)

At Last!

Finally, I am able to bring you another one of this written thingies. Given how I now make Video Logs, then the content of this will be different to my usual ramblings, or will it ? Yes it will. It will just give me the opportunities to expand on poignant points i make during the v-logs.

Given that now I have finally left college, the title of this seems apt, given that I've been waiting for this chance to get into university for a while , and also it's been a while since I've posted. So as I was saying, college is over, college is done, college and I have officially parted ways, seemingly forever, which is fine by me. It's been nothing but a living nightmare of late, I'm just fantastically happy to be free.

I can now push forward the projects I want to do for myself, for a living, without deadlines, asinine imbociles to ruin it for me, and just relax and have fun with the craft I love. Don't get me wrong, I've never lost my desire in media, or the drive to get to a higher level, it just became a tedious dullness of late, which didn't seem like there was any point to anything.

Just reflecting on where I could be in a year from now, I like my future. Speaking of which, just over a week until I partake in work experience for the BBC. Don't know who they are, but I got a feeling inside, that they could be a leading form of media content in a few short years. I kid, I love the BBC !

Just one other thing, Youtube has been overloaded with me uploading college things, maybe I should get a new channel for my films and stuff ? What do you think ? Maybe it's not worth it, given I don't make all that much stuff anyway, but who knows?

I'm quickly moving towards the new project I've been thinking about for months, off the whim of a crazy meeting over a burger with Luke! I should have an update regarding this soon. So stay tuned to the various outlets you have me on and an official announcement will come soon !

Right, things to do, people to annoy.

Now fuck off, and do something worthy with your lives. Go, click the X in the upper right corner, then the windows logo in the lower left, shut down. There you go!

CONDITIONAL OFFERS!

this means I'm better then you :)

Goodnight!

Gloriously Undefeated .....

Greetings followers, You may know I've not posted much, (given that I told you i wouldn't be) but predominantly, because I've not posted since early February, and it is now March!

So, on with the title piece of the blog, Gloriously Undefeated, I mentioned in an earlier blog how nobody has beaten me at darts for 3 years, and Sunday, I tested my mettle, against a friend of mine., So we decided firstto 4 legs would be the winner, and I scored heavily in the first leg, but Nick scored slightly heavier then me, and took a 1-0 lead with a checkout on double 18. Onto the second and I scored like a hamster doing a marathon, very slowly and soon found myself 2-0 down. The third leg was where I really woke up and fond myself in the match, and made a game of it , despite missing my double, I felt good, even as I went 3-0 down. At this point, I was thinking, (maybe deludedly) Right, he's where I want him., Time to comeback. It was a pipedream, but I never give up, and was repeatedly asked if i wanted to call it a night, and I said, and I quote " Fuck no, I never Quit, you should know this"

So, on with the 4th and I powered into a 350 point lead with 2 excellent scores of over 110 with my first few throws, while Nick was a bit rusty and struggled heavily, I eventually checked out with a 28, which is a double 14, although I missed so ended up needing double 7 to finish it off. Chalk it on the board 3-1 !

The 5th leg was a tighter affair and nothing really separated us, apart from the pressure shots I put in when Nick was on a double, so I was able to capitalize and make it a real game at 3-2.

Onto the 6th, and For some reason I lost my darts again and managed to plug away, and despite with a high throw of 67, managed to maintain my composure and make it 3-3 with a check out with double 6.

So, at 3-3 we shook and began the final leg, I began much the same way as the previous, really struggling to find my darts, throw them straight and score properly, a few rage screams, and bounceouts, eventually fuelled my deep burning desire to remain undefeated, (the truth is, i didn;t want to lose, having played so badly, so this was more important then I realised) and I knuckled down and got the run of the green, so to speak, when Nick had a checkout of 38, and had a bounce out. So up i stepped with a score of 80 to win, Triple 20, Double 10 for the match. Dart one sailed in the triple 20, Dart 2 just missed to the inside of Double 10, so I left myself single 10 for the match, and the third dart just bypassed and left me , so i thought unable to win, as I didn;t think Nikc would miss his double, but i took a deep breath and found myself back at the oche, throwing at double 10, and everything seemed in slow motion. First dart missed, so i Looked to the left Nick thought I was going to blow it, I can tell with his body language, he was eyeing up his double, that was all I needed, BAM! Game, shot and the match to Maccie! The relief I felt when the dart went in, will probably be never understood by anyone, but boy did I feel good, despite it being in an empty room with nobody watching, it made me feel good about myself!

So, on with the rest of my week, tomorrow I'm back down the docs, to determine treatment, or not, of my CTS. Hopefully I can bring you good news !

So with the bomb scare in Walsall yesterday, and my undercover filming today, it could be a mixed bag of emotions for the week. I do hope for a favourable dignosis or treatment, because I want to get back to training ASAP, although if i have to miss a sizeable amount of time away from the gym, (it;s already been 2 months) I may have to give it a permanent miss. At least I will still be able to use the gym eventually, and from everything I've read, it seems surgery may be the only option to get complete recovery.

I'm pretty much out of things to talk about, except, last week was one of the most awesome in recent week history, and Wednesday, will stick with me for a long time, for I will know it as "the day Kays phone decided she wasn't going to meet a friend for a quick catch up" ....

So with that, I really enjoyed myself, and doing the show on Friday, was a laugh, even if i did push the boundaries of acceptable behaviour, and afterwards, have one of the most vile tasting pizzas I ever had the misfortune to taste, which unfortunatly made The Wonga Man, a little poorly the day after, but thankfully it wasn't serious (or that's what he's telling us)!

Anyway, I must dash loyal readers, thankyou for the interest in this post, and I will be touch again soon!

Maccie.

TFB !

A new Beginning...

Well I have to say, I've been honoured today, as I have been complimented!

Thank you Luke Clark, who apparently enjoyed my appearance on Kay Worley's radio show, and guess what? We're both there next week!

So if you think you can handle us, then tune in, for 2 hours of madness, music and ... something else beginning with M!

Thank to Kay for having me on, Thank to Rich for dealing with me, and there's plenty more where that came from ! I enjoyed it immensely, and I hope, being permanent is what im allowed to do!

Moving on, many apologies for lack of updates, my lifes been in the crapper, but at least now I feel like i can deal with it, but I haven't been able to blog due to a rather painful bout of Carpal tunnel. It's still affecting me even now, so this blog, will be short, I'm afraid. After only a few minutes, the burning sensation is getting stronger, and the weakness is growing, and even my friendly helper who i shall not name , isn't about to help :( ... Shame....

Still, I soldier on, even though i have 2 assignments that need doing, I can't help having an injury which prevents me from typing Can I ?

WEll, on that note, I shall check in with you later, as I meander into the night, pondering,

Adios.

Et Tu... the two of us....

I cannot for the life of me understand why this is happening, but three weeks ago, I felt amazing, like I could tackle the world... Now, I feel like I'm down the bottom of a well, struggling against the darkness.

I can't get out, my bodies falling apart, and I can;t do anything right, for anyone. Why do I bother trying ?

Why do I chase what I can't have, and when I work towards accomplishing something, I no longer feel passionate about it ?

Am i deluding myself into thinking, I can become someone, I can do this, and I will be loved around the world by my fans, and peers and enemies alike.

I wanna see the future, I don't wanna see my ruinous past of ruins. I'ts getting to the point where TV shows are winding me up with the lovey dovey, harmonous people places.

Another thing that is winding me is this is the time of year where EVERYTHING is being rubbed in my face, like relationships ... i love him, i love her, love this love that, fuck off. Just because it's valentines day soon, and soon you will all go back in your holes and what? Where is the love going?

See, I'm a fucked up dilusional mess, and I think I need help.

I'm out.

16 days away ....

and now I return!

Well, where have I been ? I honestly can't tell you. All I know is I'm here to blog, and to write, and to well get over myself I guess.

Getting over myself ? Yeah I've had a few issues, or so I thought, it turns out, I was probably just being stupid and in need of attention, or whatever, I dunno guys, I'm just a little lost and in need of support, I guess when I need to be told certain things in order to complete a task, or simple things like someone telling me that they love me and helping me put to rest my self esteem issues.

I think I should stop with this self pitying shit now, as I have frankly got other more important features to discuss. (one of which being im still alive!) Sorry blog world for going back on a promise to blog really soon but you know what? Since that morning where I could've died, I've been making sure i do the things important to me ! so sue me :)

I am really starting to dislike being in this place, and I don;t know why, I just seem to be my own worst nightmare and critic, and I realise this blog has turned into a rant about myself, that wasn't my intention but fuck it. Praise me now bitches.

Guess whose back?

Yes, it's him! What does he have to say nice today? He says...... I like the cut of your jib.

Thankyou Compliment guy ! :)

So. moving onto any other buisiness.... I've decided that as much as the focus should be on me, I'm going to put you in the spotlight, and see how you deal with it.

Until next time.

Peace out.

Clueless and Helpless.....

Yes, a sombre mood to start this blogs proceedings. Firstly, I apologise for the lack of updates lately, but what can you do, I've been doing other things, and so , what ya gonna do?! Nothin? Good. Cos you can't !

Anyway, in other news, I've had a new experience this week, whereby I had a camera up me hooter . Not really something I want again, but at least it wasn't somewhere else!

I won't bore you with details, but I'm OK now and it could have been worse so happy days, thanks to my friends that gave me a hug, or a pat on the head :P.

While I'm watching it on the telly, if any of my readers fancy a game of darts at some stage, let me know, cos I'd love to see if anyone can beat me.... Not lost a match for the best part of 2 years now, and well, what can you do?! No, seriously!

Moving on now, and I have to say, 2011 is treating me well, health scare aside :P.... I'm in a good mood and am really looking forward to the next few months, and now college is back in full swing, I will be able to focus on just keeping busy, and keeping myself happy. Speaking of which...

I really should get back to my essay , so I apologise for the lack of content, but I just felt I should let you know I was still ok and doing well so I'll blog ya properly soon I promise!